Sexual Dreams

Sexuality is the most obvious visual image of intense physical love, and sexual dreams are for the most part a visual and emotional experience, such dreams usually represent a longing and intense need for closeness and union with another person. If you are making love or in any other form of sexual encounter a few questions regarding your dream partner might be in order; for instance:

  • How would you characterise that person, what sort of person are they?
  • Are they energetic go-getters, or lethargic no-hopers?
  • Where do you know them from, work, a party, friend or acquaintance?
  •  What does that person represent to you?

Many sexual themes that find there way into our dream life can be extremely discomforting, dream images are totally free of social mores and values, and so can be disconcertingly raw. Remember that the dream is a metaphor, and relates only to an aspect of who you are.  If the associated feelings are uncomfortable remember too that any discomfort that the images may bring upon waking is not necessarily a part of the dream itself. 

Sometime the most disturbing sexual for heterosexuals are dreams involving same sex partners.  For some women these experiences can be initiatory and deeply affirm their experience of being a woman and being in the body of a woman and the embrace of the goddess. At the same time such dreams can activate very deeply held social taboos, which simultaneously confuse and terrify.

Try and see whatever association arises symbolically. Take the essence and ask where it is happening in your life, or where does it need to happen in your life.  This is an important distinction, and needs to be held in consciousness, particularly if your dream material contains otherwise taboo encounters. Try not to confuse dream material with literal, biological or objective fact.

Many people worry after a particularly disturbing dream that the events in the dream will literally come true. Indeed most of us have heard of instances when dreams do come true. At a literal level then, some dreams do appear to come true, but these are rare. Dreams, especially sexual dreams contain images that awaken very powerful feelings. By engaging in the struggle to even hold and recall the feeling it brings, we are able to bring new consciousness and integration into our life. So that these new truths do not then need to be acted out.

Recall the old story of the rather refined young man who preferred sex dreams to visiting brothels because he met a much nicer type of girl that way.  ~Vivian Mercer

Homosexual dreams of men can often be an attempt to bring to consciousness aspects of their own masculine qualities with which they may be out of touch. They can often hearken back to adolescence and father son issues that date from that time. Particularly the need to reconnect with the enabling, or positive, father image that lies within. In some traditional initiation ceremonies youths were ritually anointed with semen so as to strengthen their developing masculinity. Homosexual dreams then, are quite common and it can be a reassurance to many heterosexual men to realise this. Similarly, lesbian encounters in the dreams of women can be an attempt to experience the total and unconditional acceptance of "Mother" in the form of another women. These dreams may be an attempt to reclaim aspects of their own femininity with which they are, at the time of dreaming, out of touch, which is why such dreams can be experienced as so deeply healing.